By Gilad Atzmon

Jews tend to complain that Hitler looked into their blood, dug into their family’s history, tracing Jewish genes sometimes even two or three generations back. I guess the Jewish Chronicle is no different, but it is far more thorough.

The uniquely horrid British Jewish outlet decided to look into Jeremy Corbyn's genetic ‘kosher credentials’. The headline: “Sorry to disappoint you, Mr Corbyn, but there's just no trace of your Jewish roots”

Recently, in an attempt to appease British Jewry, the new Labour Party leader said he believed he had some Jewish element in the family, probably from Germany.

The Jewish Chronicle refutes Corbyn’s claim: “Jeremy Corbyn has had his claims of Jewish ancestry rejected by a leading genealogist.” Doreen Berger, one of the founders of the Jewish Genealogical Society of Great Britain, said she had conducted extensive research into Mr Corbyn's ancestors and found no evidence to back up his claim.

While the Nazis went just a few generations back, Ms Berger, the local merchant of Jewish racial purity, “went back as far as 1837 in the civil records.” She confirms: “I couldn't find anything at all.”

As usual, I am willing to sacrifice to save the situation for our new Labour leader.

I have some notorious Jewish genes that I would love to get rid of. I am related to both war criminal Tzipi Livini and 911’s Menachem Atzmon. I am told that my Sephardic roots are in the same bloodline as Maimonides. If Jeremy Corbyn is desperate to possess some Jewish genes, he is welcome to mine. I would be delighted to meet Jeremy at Ms Berger’s kosher genetic laboratory and do a Jew gene swap. The sooner the better.