The One Gay Solution

By Gilad Atzmon

The Moscow City Court upheld last Thursday a district court’s decision to ban gay parades in the Russian Capital for the next 100 years.  Not just one year, two years or even ten years, the court was pretty clear about it all-a century with no gay parades. Pretty sinister I would say.

As it seems Homosexuality is not very popular amongst  Russia’s political establishment. In 2007, Former Moscow Mayor Yury Luzhkov described attempts to hold a gay parade in the capital as “satanic.” In fact, no gay Parade has ever been officially permitted in Russia. Russian gays are heavily discriminated.  But they should never lose hope. In the last few days I have come up with a simple and  creative solution that would calm this rift down and may even bring peace to what is left of occupied Palestine.

As we all know, Israel opens its arms to Russians and East Europeans Goyim who are happy enough to live in the ‘Jews Only State’ and even pretend to be Zionist Jews and hate Arabs accordingly. But Israel is also ‘the only democracy in Middle east’- it is open, liberal and tolerant. Tel Aviv is famous for being ‘The World’s Gay Capital’.

If Russian gays are unhappy with their meshigine Goyim homophobic leaders, they should simply make Aliya  and join more than one million of their expatriates who already live happily in Israel. I believe that that such a wave of something between three to twenty  million pride-seeking Russian immigrants would make Israel into a really nice place.  Living in the rapidly expanding shore-city Gay Aviv, the new Russians will enjoy the sun, the beach and the famous hospitality of the Israelis. Considering Israel being an open, inclusive society,  dynamic, liberal, democratic State, it won’t take long before the indigenous Hebrews amend their national narrative, they will probably name their reforming state IsraGay.  They may even introduce some new rainbow colours  to their precious Star of David. Believe me, it won’t take long before GDF’s (the newly formed Gay Defence Force) generals launch a peace dialogue with IsraGay’s neighbouring country and even  some leading Palestinian One Gay Solution advocates. Let’s leave bigotry behind, together we cross the divide, peace may prevail after all.